Don’t forget the past you might need it!

Try not to forget your past, cause you will for sure need it not to make some of the same mistake’s twice. God forbid you would do that! I know I have learned my lesson’s in that area of my life. I have had counselor’s tell me, not to live in the past. I did have alot of shame and guilt about my past. But, now I have learned to ask God’s forgiveness and let it go. I cannot change the past so I must move on already. So now that I have done that, I feel so much better than I did before. But, the worst guilt was when I relapsed and had to go to a group meeting with my peer’s that I had been growing and learning from in recovery for the past 2 years now! This was the worst, I thought about keeping it to myself, but then I will just feel guilty longer and not be able to get anymore rest for a long amount of time. I have found that now that I have chosen a clean and sober lifestyle, you have to feel all the emotion’s and the pain and the guilt, that I used to hide with the opiate’s and the drug’s and alcohol that I was using in my past. I had to live my life all over again and learn to deal with emotion’s all over again. It’s hard to do, but eventually you will get there. I am now going on almost close to 3 yrs of recovery. I am not being triggered at all anymore. I still attend meeting 2 times a week. (3 times) I still go to one on one therapy with a counselor, I have bi monthly appt’s with a drug & alcohol counselor too, even after this long. But, I am not scott free yet? I have been asked by son’s why I am not done yet? I said it’s not like that where your just done and your cured and it’s over. I will be back later with some more word’s to share. Debrinconcita in Portland Oregon USA.

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